simply put...

....I am what you would call the WORST kind of person.....

I am a horrible mother and a horrible daughter.  I have dealt with depression, anxiety, being suicidal and I have destroyed my daughter because I am also borderline personality disorder (her diagnosis). In fact if you visit her blog you will all about how horrible that I am, all the awful things I've done and just how truly awfully I've damaged and destroyed her.

I....simply put.....am no good.  It doesn't matter that I had no teaching or training in life.  It doesn't matter that I truly have loved my husband and children with a deep love.  It doesn't matter that I have absolutely tried my very hardest in all things.  None of that matters because I failed....pure and simple.

So...Meag....I am sorry.  I am sorry that you were saddled with a mother that was already a horrible daughter, a mother that was mentally unstable and a mother that turned out to be the worst mother in the world to you.  I'm very sorry that you were so destroyed and damaged by me from all of the things that I ever did to you. I'm sorry for all of those things you said I've said to you.  I'm sorry for blaming everything on you.  I'm sorry for everything you've said and wrote about.  Please forgive me if I've missed something.  I hope you'll accept my apology so you can move on in your life and enjoy a wonderful, happy life as you choose.  I hope this is what you were looking for from me.  I deeply regret that you had to put up with me all these years in how horrible I've been.

And folks....that's it....white flag of surrender is being raised on this end. I have no more. I have nothing.  Last night was the absolute end of me as I, or anyone else, knew me.  I don't know where I go from here in/with anything, but it will be alone.  I'm sorry for everyone that I've hurt, please forgive me. I'm sure the list is long. I promise I've always tried hard, loved greatly...but as I said it's not enough, period.